God cares

I've been thinking a lot lately about family or friends in really hard situations.  I've thought about a friend who was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a cousin who has had a horrible pregnancy and now a premie, a friend who is fighting cancer, a friend who cares for ailing parents, a friend who is struggling to make ends meet, a friend who has given up all she has to go to a different country and try her luck on life, I have my own personal weaknesses to overcome and sometimes it's overwhelming.  There are lots of really good people, who feel very deeply and who have a tidal wave of weight and struggle on their shoulders.

I've also been thinking about something I heard in a religion class a long time ago (about 12 years ago.  It feels like a long time to me).  The speaker has asked the question why do some get the sword and others no?  I believe it was in reference to the persecution and killing of early Christians and apostles.  I will never forget the tenderness with which he used a cracking voice and said "I don't know, but I do know that God loves each of his children."  In that moment I felt very deeply his conviction that there is a loving God who does loves us very deeply.  I still do.

I don't know why my friends and family have such struggles, or why I have mine.  But I do know a few things.

1.  I know that God does love each and everyone of us.  He loves every single one of us!  I think that his kind of love is not the kind of love that spares us pain.  His kind of love is the kind of love that infuses us with confidence and courage and strength when our knees are trembling and it feels like an earthquake has just sent a 20 story building crashing onto our heads.  His love strengthens us and gives us the grit to fight, to keep going, to move forward, to see light in the darkness.  And sometimes when that light isn't forthcoming then he surrounds us with warmth and trust for better.

2.  I know that God wants us to learn from our trials and pain.  He wants these crushing and stressing experiences to work for our good, and He has the power to make it so.  He wants those experiences to teach us a little more about Him and what it takes to become like Him.  I don't think that without each of our own personal struggles we could truly learn the truths that need to become the very essence of who we are.  I'm the first and foremost to avoid pain and stretching like the plague.  But when I'm corned and have to face it, then I realize that I'm not alone in facing it.  I have a companion.  One that is strong, and loyal, and wise.  His help is there always, but I have full access when I'm able to ask to put aside my anger, or fear, or pain.  Help comes when I ask how it is that I can face a certain problem or feeling, what it is that I need to know, or what is to be learned at this moment?  When I feel hard and start putting up walls I cut myself off from that source of strength and growth that is so desperate to help me.

3.  I know that when we choose light, hope, humility, courage to move forward and not retreat within that we have the ability to change the world around us.  I once heard something I felt is true.  Love is one of those things that the more of it you give away, the more of it you have.  I think the same is true for when we choose to let light shine from within us.  When we choose to look to the source of light and truth, and follow it then it can be felt by others.  This is seen and felt by others and has a great influence for good!

4.  I believe that all wrongs will be made right and all wounds healed in a spectacular way.  There's a wise man named Boyd Packer who once compared this life to a 3 act play.  We are living in the second act.  We don't remember the first act.  We're living in the second act where there's a lot of unfairness, and we haven't gotten to the 3rd act where all wrongs are made right, things not only turn out fairly, but they warm your heart to the very center and make you feel that those hard things you just passed through were worth it.  I really do believe in a higher power that has the ability to heal us, and to make things work out for our good.  I feel it deep within me and that's what gives me hope!  I believe that this higher power comes from Jesus Christ and his atonement, his feeling everything with us, and in some miraculous way that I don't know how to describe, overcame it for us.  When we come to Him with humble hearts He can heal our wounds, now and in the future.  I've felt it many times in my own pains and suffering.  I know that He has the power to heal.  He is the great physician.  We just have to turn to Him.

I'm grateful to know that what I do know helps me reconcile what I don't know.  What I do know is more powerful than what I don't.  So I'm willing to put myself in the great Creator's hands and trust Him.

christmas holiday 2015

Into the city center for boxing day!  In centro per Santo Stefano!

giocare con gli amici per le vacanze!

 A giocare con i nostri amici per le vacanze di natale.  Che voglia di parco e di loro!

New year's eve soccer practice, Forza Bologna!

 Lo zio Daniele ha portato i bimbi all'allenamento di calcio il giorno della vigilia. I bimbi erano gasati!

 Bologna's soccer team practice on New Year's Eve.  The boys went with uncle Daniele!

Christmas 2015

 L'ultima natale in Italia!  Che nostalgia che ho già.  Ho imparato dai miei vicini di casa di fare i tortellini.  Spero di riuscirci quando torno a casa!

Our last Christmas in Italia!  I'm already feeling nostalgic.  I learned how to make traditional tortellini by hand from my neighbors.  I hope that I can make them when I move!

 My children loved preforming, and I think that aunt Ivana loved it even more getting it all ready to go!  She likes to prepare things and go big!  I also love that my kids love their cousins.  I'm grateful that in years to come we get to be with lots of cousins!

 My brother-in-law commissioned this cake.  All of the figures are my kids and their two cousins.  It was very impressive!

being sweet

Tonight Aaron pulled out a lollipop that he had gotten from one of his classmates a few days ago.  Considering all of the dental work that my kids have had, they RARELY get lollipops, and it's always from someone else, not from me.

It was just Aaron and Isabel in the house.  Isabel was very aware that Aaron had a sweet that she didn't and made her feelings known.  Aaron was so sweet with her and shared it with her.  One lick him, one lick her, and so forth.  Then they sat on the couch and took turns making it fly like an airplane into each other's mouth.  There were a few times when I thought Isabel was going to get a uvulaectomy but they both come out smiling and happy.

I think I was the happiest one of all, seeing my children be sweet angels!

a night in the life of a mother

Night life at my house is EXCITING but not in the way that most folks hope for.  It's a lot of getting up at night.  Having Isabel's tonsils and adenoids definitely helped with this, but she still wakes up a night.  The last week she's been having "night terrors" or some crazy dreams and has been waking up a lot.  Every once in a while Jordan wakes up too, just to keep things interesting.

Jordan's waking up is usually because he wants to sleep in my bed and be cuddled.  He comes randomly, usually when he's not feeling heard or cuddled enough.  Somehow he manages to always come after Paolo has gone to work (about 2 a.m.).

Most of the time when he comes to bed I've already been woken up multiple times by Isabel and I am passed out.  It's definitely much less than 1% of my brain working when he shows up and it's all I can do to verbalize.  Last night he came into bed and announced, "mom, I have a question!"  And it's serious business for him!  He doesn't give voice very often to what I expect is a lot of questions that he may have.  Somehow in the middle of the night they come out!  Oh deary me!

He actually comes in needing some cuddles or physical contact and with lots of questions.  A few weeks ago he came into my bed and said in a sweet soft voice, "mom?".  After I mumbled he burst out in an excited voice, "Mom!  I have 22 questions!"  I told him that he could ask me one then and then the rest in the morning.

Sigh.  Big sigh.  As hard as it is being woken up so much, I love my kids and being a mom!