we're normal

New Year's Day was a rough day for us.  We were tired (a certain little kiddo not sleeping well at night and therefore her parents too).  It's amazing how sleep deprivation lowers my threshold for tolerating stress.  We went to take the kids ice skating at the main square near us.  When we got there, the prices were higher than we thought.  Paolo realized that he left his cash at home.  I got skates for me and 3 kids and he headed home to get the money.

In the meantime a black cloud was hovering over my head.  I could barely stay on skates myself plus having 3 kids fall all over me, and let me tell you that my back still hurts.  Try and teach them to skate while keeping Isabel up dead weight wasn't fun.  Inside I was STRESSED OUT and no one to help, and I wasn't having fun- any fun whatsoever.  I felt abandoned.

And then Paolo finally came back and told me that he was in a car accident.  He turned left in front of a car he couldn't see because of the sun in his eyes.  At that moment all of the negative stress built up inside blew away in an instant.  I was worried about me and how I was doing.  My husband was surely having a worse day than me, and I felt bad for thinking only about poor me.

The rest of the day continued with dark clouds at our house, and Isabel screamed bloody murder for several hours that night (turns out she has a ruptured ear drumm today).

So as I was awake last night I was thinking to myself, and this thought came to me (one that I've always believed strongly in):  life isn't about what's handed to you, it's about how you act and react to it that determines where you're headed.  So the first day of the year starting out not so great does not determine where my year is going, but how I react certainly does.  So I re-commited to trying my best, let myself be human, and try, try again.  I feel "totally normal" in the sense of no glowing stories of success around my house these days, but I do feel like I'm in control of my life by the choices I make.

So here's to a new year, and moving forward.  And trying to take those bad days in stride.